I have recently been through a truly traumatic experience. An experience that has changed the course of my life so dramatically I’m still struggling just to accept that it has happened. However, I won’t say any more than that because this kind of trauma doesn’t particularly need to be plastered all over the internet (as tempting as it might be to publicly expose the despicable individuals who were involved for what they really are).
So, rather than subjecting you all to the gory details of this particular episode, I thought I’d put together a quick post filled with positivity, rather than yet more unnecessary negativity. So here you are, six crucially important reasons to be cheerful. No matter what you are going through.
- You are alive. Your sheer existence is a miracle, and, chances are, if you have access to the internet and are reading this blog post, you have been born into a position of privilege that you are incredibly lucky to occupy. Try to remember that.
- You are loved. You matter so much more than you know, to so many people.
- You are not alone. I know this might be a bit of a cliché, but one of the few good things about times of adversity, is that they really do reveal who your true friends are. I’ve always believed that friend quality is so much more important than quantity and this experience has certainly cemented that belief. I am incredibly lucky to have met some fantastic people in my life who have turned into lifelong friends. It’s more than likely that you have too. Focus on building the relationships you have with the people who matter, and know when to disassociate yourself with the toxic individuals who only bring negativity into your life. Even if you do feel slightly lonely on occasion, that doesn’t mean that you are alone.
- Life is incredible. Ok, I know it might sound like I’ve had one too many (in the words of Paulo Nutini) ‘funky cigarettes’, but I’m just pointing out the obvious really. There are so many good things in this world – food, music, literature, nature – and it really does help to keep sight of that. Try to take as much pleasure as you can from the small things, and eventually the big things won’t seem so overwhelming.
- You have your whole life ahead of you. I have spent the last four years of my life making sacrifices for someone who I thought was the most important person in the world. Turns out he wasn’t. But now I know that, and in a lot of ways I’ve had a lucky escape, so now I can focus on making my own, selfish decisions, and on doing what I need to do to make myself happy. I have a really exciting plan for the next few years that involves doing a lot of things I would certainly not have been able to do while I was stuck planning my life around a person who didn’t deserve me. He has severely limited himself by his choices, whereas I am free, and I intend to make the most of that.
- Being unhappy is a waste of time. I don’t mean by this that you should feel guilty for taking the time you need to be sad. But just try not to wallow in self-pity. Crying can be extremely healing and cathartic but there comes a time when you’re no longer helping yourself by bawling your eyes out. Life is short, and unless you believe otherwise according to your religion, we only get one. Make the most of your time and you will get the most that you can out of your life.